She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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