Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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