R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
is it fun? or sober?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
