Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
