Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
