her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
