haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
i've created a new STD.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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