i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
