she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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