turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
