The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
worst night to have a conscience
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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