physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
