Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I came so hard my ears popped.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
