I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
