so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
