I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
