Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize