yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
You can't motorboat a personality
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize