So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
last night I used snow as a chaser
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
