Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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