I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
