i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
