I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
