she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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