would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
