I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
