yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
