I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize