just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
