I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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