Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
