i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
