New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
