it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize