i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
