We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
