I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
