the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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