we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
