Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize