i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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