How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
