Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
two words...techno handjob
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
it's like heaven, but drunker
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
