I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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