but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
