She went from zero to smokin in five shots
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
