I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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