this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize