He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
