Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
