Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
We just shotgunned beers for America
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
