Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
