i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Randomize
