'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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