OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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