What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
