She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
