I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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