who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
