ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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