drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
