he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Randomize
