Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
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