look no pants
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Randomize
