She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
