it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
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