I hate all girls vehemently.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
