Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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