This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
