yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
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