So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
