You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Randomize
