i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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