Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
