hell yes lets make some ravioli
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Randomize
