We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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